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Moving to www.BickerBattles.com December 10, 2011
Results on Debate #2: Open Gifts One at a Time or All at Once? January 5, 2010
Question: Your extended family is gathered together for the holidays. It’s time to open gifts. Should you open one at a time, waiting and watching as each person opens in turn? Or should someone yell out “go!” and then the opening frenzy begin, everyone opening at once?
Survey Winner: ONE AT A TIME
Analysis: This one wasn’t very close. A clear 85 percent said the gifts should be opened one at a time. The other 15 percent, of course, said to open gifts simultaneously. Those who prefer opening one gift at a time liked that it made it the gift exchange last longer. Some also thought it helped kids focus more on the spirit of giving. My friend Leanna said: “I also grew up opening 1 at a time and of course, have to keep doing it that way with my kids…makes it last longer!!” Those wanting to open simultaneously seemed to recognize that some groups are large enough that it just takes too long to open one at a time.
Survey comments: Another friend, Aisha, has a column (see it at www.stltoday.com/dirtylaundry) in which she mentioned this issue. Here’s what she wrote: “Fight the frenzy on Christmas morning. Rather than encouraging a complete gift-wrap-tearing, free-for-all, allow each family member a chance to open one gift at a time. There should be a chance to appreciate the sentiment that went into each present.”
Jenny, another friend, said that the one-at-a-time approach worked with her family of four as a child, but it might not for a larger group. ”Depends on the size of the family. I like one at a time so I can see whateveryone gets and that is what my family of 4 did growing up. But that wouldn’t work for [my husband's bigger] family, especially today with so many grandkids and in-laws.”
Final random thoughts: So maybe there should be a rule of thumb for which approach to use? Eight or fewer? Then use the one-at-a-time approach. If you have a bigger group that than, only do it if there’s only one gift per person. Otherwise, you’ll never get to the egg nog.
Debate #2: Open Gifts One at a Time or All at Once? December 31, 2009
Here’s one more holiday-related question while the memories are still fresher than the discarded Christmas trees sitting on the curb.
Your extended family is gathered together for the holidays. It’s time to open gifts. Should you open one at a time, waiting and watching as each person opens in turn? Or should someone yell out “go!” and then the opening frenzy begin, everyone opening at once? What’s your preference?
Debate #1: Does Santa Wrap Gifts or Not? December 23, 2009
Question: Does/did Santa leave gifts wrapped or unwrapped?
Survey winner: WRAPPED.
Results: “Wrapped” barely pulled out the win with 16 votes for wrapped and 13 votes for unwrapped (I counted some of you Facebook friends as two votes if you explained your spouse’s/sig. other’s preference in addition to your own. Plus, I added my own and my husband’s votes).
Analysis: First, I never guessed this debate would be so close. I grew up with wrapped gifts, and – as this blog is supposed to illustrate – assumed “everyone” did it the way my family did. My husband grew up with unwrapped and assumed that everyone did it that way. Hence, the first “But Everyone Does it This Way” blog entry. Many of you seemed to feel the same certainty about your own tradition. My cousin Lyn said it well: “I’m fascinated… I never considered that it was any other way.”
Other survey comments:
From Bryan: “UNWRAPPED! The elves are busy making the gifts and don’t have time to wrap them. And, for reasons unknown, Santa’s time-warping ability works only for delivering gifts, so he doesn’t have time to wrap any of them.”
From David: Cannot believe how many people DON’T wrap. Part of the allure is waking up, seeing gifts, and wondering what the heck is in there?! Plus, how do you know it’s for you or a sibling? Of course it’s wrapped, labeled, and in Santa paper! (Now I’m wondering if un-wrapped has some benfits. It’d be waaaaay easier for Santa.)
From Christine: Unwrapped, definitely! Out of the packaging unwrapped, too, since Santa makes everything himself at the North Pole & puts it in his bag to deliver to good boys and girls. I have a b-i-l who won’t budge on this issue, though, and it is a sore point between my sister and him.
From Erica: Wrapped- that is a huge part of the fun to unwrap! Must be opened on Christmas morning and in different paper then used by your Mom and Dad. 
Prediction: It does seem like many of those who went with the unwrapped route went that way for simplicity. Some also made the point that it’s more eco-friendly. I hate to admit it, but those factors – because of our feeling of being too busy during the holidays and a desire to take the Earth-friendly route – may change future survey results for Team Wrapped (as Diane called it). It even made me, a hard-core wrapping fan, doubt my decision. Don’t tell my husband yet, though. Tradition is hard to give up.
Final random thoughts: A few of you who referred to a difference of opinions with a spouse on this issue showed a tendency toward going with the husband’s family’s tradition. Is this what tends to happen or is it simply that women tend to mention when their husband “wins” but don’t think of mentioning when things are done their way? Maybe because they are doing most of the prep anyway so, of course, they do it how they want? What do you think?
P.S. I’ve gotten on the ball, found the polling tool and added the survey here to broaden the sample. This may change the winning team. Only vote if I didn’t get you in the Facebook poll, please.
Welcome to “But Everyone Does it This Way” January 26, 2009
I once heard a story about a gal who always cut the ends off of a ham before she put it in the oven. Her husband would question her about this, but she would simply say something like, “This is how you prepare a ham. My mom always did it like this.” Finally, after years of this, one of them decided to ask the mother about the practice. The mother offered an explanation that went something like this: “Oh, my pan was always too small so I had to cut the ends off to fit the ham in.”
I can’t remember any longer whether this is a true story or just one of those urban legends that get passed along, but it perfectly illustrates the point of this blog. Do you have a spouse, significant other or friend who disagrees with you over how to do some little thing or other and argues: “But everyone does it this way!” And if you ask delving questions, you find that “everyone” refers to the spouse’s brother, mother and father? Not exactly a strong scientific poll, eh? The blog, “But Everyone Does it This Way,” takes a light-hearted look at our adherence to tradition and certainty that our family did it “right.” And, more importantly, it will offer surveys to help collect slightly more stats, which will still be completely unscientific - not that you have to tell others that when you announce that your side “wins.”
